Visiting Grandma

We spent this afternoon with N's Great Grandma & Grandpa. They've been aware of N's illness and have prayed with the rest of us for his recovery. At the end of our visit, she asked how N was doing. She then told me about a relative's friend that is suffering from anorexia (and later we found out bulimia).

I've had several talks with Grandma about N's recovery, the research that we've found, and the different ways of looking at this illness. But I was surprised to hear her ask about this 18 year-old girl, "Why would she do this?" I was surprised because I thought we had blasted through those old stereotypes long ago. Yet all of a sudden, I realized that all of our conversations hadn't changed those old perceptions. So, once again, I (along with my son and husband) corrected her and said, "it's not about that, it's a brain disorder." I could hear in her tone a belief that this daughter was "doing this" to her parents.

I must confess that I wondered for the first time if all the education that we're trying to spread is even making any difference.

Weigh-In

I had N weigh himself last night. He is down two pounds to 116. I've been more relaxed about his calorie intake (which in some ways is a good thing) and N is busy with friends and school and is not really paying as much attention either. I've got to stay on top of things. Christmas is a good week to get back those pounds, hopefully without much effort.

Measure-In

I measured N the other day. He has grown so much since February. He is now 5' 1 3/4" -- just 1/4" shorter than me. :o)

Fears of the Future

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how having anorexia will affect N's future. I hear stories of many who have beat the anorexia and have moved on without looking back. Still, I watch him now, doing so well, yet still fighting the triggers. Will that happen his whole life or just through his teen years?

I also hear of set backs that happen as children begin college or move out. How will he do when he starts school? Because T is a college professor, we receive a tuition benefit. Hopefully that keeps N close to home where we can keep an eye on him. We've always been big advocates of the importance of living at college, but will that be the best for him? Will he be better off living at home?

N has a goal to serve for two years as a volunteer missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Typically, missionaries live in less-than-idea conditions. Often they are sent to foreign countries and these 19 - 21 year-old boys work hard! Not only do they teach people about Jesus Christ, but they also serve the people wherever they go. My already skinny husband lost a lot of weight when he served a mission for two years in South America. How will that affect N? Will he even be able to serve? Or will he be kept in the United States because of the anorexia.

What about military service? N recently discussed the possibilities of joining a ROTC program during college. Would they even take him? What if he went to war? War time conditions would almost absolutely result in weight-loss which we already know is a trigger. I worry that he wouldn't survive a relapse of anorexia in those conditions.

What about the lingering OCD issues? Will they stop him from being all that he can be? And mostly, what about a family? Will anorexia triggers always have to be a concern for his wife?

So many worries! Do any of you know (or can predict somewhat) the answers to these questions?