Monday, September 13, 2010

Reaching Out

As N continues to heal, I continue to look for meaning in our journey with anorexia. One thing that I'm sure of, is that I want to help other parents know that they can and should be proactive when helping their children get better from anorexia. I want to dispel the myths associated with eating disorders. I also want to help other parents find their way to current and appropriate care that is available out there, but is often hard to find.

I've had several families contact me through this blog. Some have been a constant support for me. I think these families, like Erica (see ongoing comments) have helped me more than I've ever helped them. Other families have wanted to know where to find help. I've been so happy to hopefully save them some of the time that it took me to find the resources we used. In several cases, I'm aware that these families connected with trained therapists. Their children seem to be well on their way to getting the help that they need. Somehow that adds meaning to our struggles with anorexia. I really hope that we can alleviate more suffering than the sum total of ours.

I've also made some mistakes. More than anything, I now realize that parents need support. In one case I was quick to criticize a certain therapy approach. I never heard back from that mother. I still have concerns about the chosen therapy approach - but I now understand that she needed support as much or more than knowledge from me. I should have handled that conversation much more gently.

N having anorexia has been hard - probably the hardest experience of my life. But I have also changed and grown in ways that I wouldn't want to give up. Maybe the changes in me are the meaning that I'm looking for. Maybe there is more. It might take more than a lifetime for me to find full meaning in this trial. I'm still not completely sure how to make a difference, but I want to - and I'm trying.


Laura (Collins) Lyster-Mensh said...

I also found the experience beyond grueling, but also educational. It also made me want to be an activist for other parents to get more support and better information.

Your blog is a public service in itself, letting other parents see the scope and scale and arc of the experience. Thank you for that!

We need volunteers over at FEAST, btw, so all parents looking to get involved PLEASE let us know!

Wendy said...

Laura - I should have mentioned your name when I talked about ongoing support. You have made such a difference in our journey. Thank you so much for all that you have done for us!

Erica said...

I found your blog when we were knee deep in the hell of our daughter's ed. Our children were roughly the same age and suffered in so many of the same ways -- your honesty and openness was and is a great help to me. I know your blog will help many other families. They may never leave a comment here, but they take in the information and go on to heal their children. You rock! I hope that one day we can meet in real life!

Wendy said...

Thanks Erica. Your comments have meant so much to me. I'd send my post out into space and you've always been there with a reply.

Anonymous said...

You are an inspiration to other parents. I spoke with you maybe a year and a half ago and have been reading your blog ever since. My son almost died over the summer due to anorexia, but even though the doctors gave us no hope we were extremely lucky and now my son is back on the road to recovery. Anorexia is a serious life threatening disease that I am still trying to understand. Thank you for taking the time you have to help other parents like myself.

Wendy said...

Thank you so much!