Happy Thanksgiving!

I just wanted to mention how thankful I am for the progress that N has made over the past year. I'm thankful for all of you and your support throughout the journey. I'm thankful for Dr. R. and the fact that he is the really the perfect blend of family and patient support (since we haven't been able to find a Maudsley therapist). I'm also thankful for Laura Collins, her advocacy and support as well as the forum she created (http://aroundthedinnertable.org) that I credit with saving us. I'm also thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed us with a full measure of support and his spirit during this time -- and also his son, Jesus Christ who has already carried this burden.

Weigh-In

I forgot to mention that a trip to the doctor's office a week ago Sunday, put N's weight at 118 lbs.

On The Big Screen

How do you feel about yourself when you see yourself in a family movie? Yesterday, N made a movie for a school assignment. The "I look so fat, my hair is stupid and my voice sounds funny" ended up being a trigger for him. He was cranky and disrespectful last night and this morning. He also cried for several minutes about all those anxieties unearthed by seeing himself on tv. I tried to reassure him that almost everyone feels that way when they see themselves on the screen. He didn't believe me.

Though it was a bump, N hasn't had a bad day since he skipped breakfast back three weeks ago. He did have an appointment with his therapist last night. We discussed the idea of fasting again. Dr. R. just indicated that as long as fasting is a trigger, then N can't do it. I suspect that will have to be something that N will have to be aware of throughout his whole life. N also discussed land mines that he has encountered as well as what to do when he becomes desperate and ravenous. Dr. R. said that N should keep up his blood sugar -- little meals constantly. I'm just not sure how to work that into his school day. I've not been sending snacks and apparently I need to resume.

One Year

It was one year ago that I discovered the forum, Around The Dinner Table and consequently learned about the Maudsley Method. N's weight, morale, and behaviors had been declining until on November 11, 2008 when I began applying the Maudsley Method to our approach. The results were almost immediate. T, upon returning from a family trip, and who hadn't seen N for several days, said the difference was stark. It was one year ago that we first found hope. Without the forum as well as the Maudsley approach, it's hard to imagine where we would be today. I remember N's therapist stating that we needed to think of N's recovery in terms of months and years instead of days and weeks. That was such a scary prospect. What a difficult and yet amazing year it has been. We've come so far!

Recovery

N is doing great. We seem to be in the middle of a good spell. I find myself rarely thinking about the anorexia and our family feels so "normal" right now. I think we've finally reached the point where I can say that he is officially in remission/recovery. N still has bad days, but there are more good ones now.

Skipping Breakfast

Getting up on time isn't a characteristic that N has developed yet. Last Sunday, he was planning to join his youth group at a local developmental center (for older patients) to present a sacrament service. Unfortunately, he didn't get up at 6:00, 6:20, 6:40 or 7:10 when he was reminded. I think he stumbled into the shower at 7:25. He asked me to drive him to our church at 8:00 (he was supposed to be there at 7:30). After I explained that they had already left him, I drove him to the center and he eventually found his group.

Well, in the process he skipped breakfast. It's amazing to me how much of a difference that missing one meal makes. They didn't get back until almost 12:00 and we were in our own sacrament service by then. So, he ran home and ate and then joined us for Sunday School. But by then, the anorexia was extremely strong and overall it was a long day for him and us. He fought low self-image and eating issues all day long. Monday morning was better, but still difficult.

On the first Sunday of each month we fast (don't eat) for 2 meals. We donate the cost of the meals we would have eaten to feed the poor. N was instructed immediately after he was diagnosed with anorexia that he could no longer fast. I've been wanting to ask if he might be ready to try fasting again, but now I know the answer. I won't even ask. I wonder if he'll ever be able to fast again.