Wednesday, November 11, 2009

His Brother

The last few days have been interesting for me. My shoulders are tense all over again, but not because of N - it's his brother, J.

J is currently 11 years, 9 months. He is only 7 months older than N was at the onset of the anorexia. I can't remember if the beginning was Sunday or Monday, but it was like a light switch got flipped. J has experienced three days of intense anxiety, and paralization. He said that he only feels it here at home. But last night it was enough to keep him from heading out to scouts. I had asked him to sweep and he had played on the computer instead. I got after him about it, but then he obsessed over my being mad at him -- said he couldn't leave if I was still mad.

This is so unlike him. I've got warning flags going up all over, but know I need to wait before reacting. There is a major possible cause of his anxiety. His grandmother was just diagnosed with stage 3 - vaginal cancer. We're all out of sorts because of it. He insists that it isn't related -- but I'm not sure that any of us know how much our anxieties tie into fear and death. So, I'll give J a few weeks and see if we can work/talk through this.

Then I'll panic.


Erica said...

Oh Wendy, I hope things improve for your son! Stress can really set off sensitive kids. Don't wait too long if your gut really tells you to act. Our 9 yo son has severe food allergies and has developed some anxieties in the past few weeks. I asked him if he wanted to talk to a therapist who would teach him relaxation techniques, and he was very open to it. We have had three sessions with one more to go and my son is doing so much better. I am glad we acted when we did and really dealt with the problem while it was still relatively minor.

Thinking of you!

Erica said...

Hey Wendy,
Just checking in -- how are things?

Wendy said...

Erica -
Thanks for caring!

J is doing okay. I don't think it is OCD or anorexia, but he is definitely struggling with some anxiety issues. I'm trying to help him work through things with some of the techniques N's therapist taught him. We'll see if we need to go to the next level and involve a therapist.