Confessions

Yesterday was rough again. N struggled through the day -- and was 30 minutes late again. His primary teacher called me during the day while N was home. I stepped out of the house and sat in my car to talk (mostly because I couldn't hear). N asked who had called and why. We've been honest with him about those who know/show concern in hopes that he would realize how much people love him and care about him. N then admitted that he liked all the attention he was getting. He said that people had never really showed they cared in these ways before. This confession really concerned me. We've got to make sure that we are not reinforcing the anorexia -- but instead are rallying around him in different ways. I guess we've got to reinforce him most when the anorexia isn't the main issue -- to show him all the love/attention he is craving but not have it associated with or reinforcing his eating disorder.

Also, last night N started having loose bowels. He just doesn't have enough weight to get sick. I'm afraid he would end up in the hospital.

This morning, it all started over a gogurt. I've been letting him substitute a gogurt for his milk. He has been cutting them in half. This morning, though, I didn't have any that were frozen. So I insisted that he have the whole thing (a good change regardless because an entire gogurt is not even equal to 1 c. of milk -- in terms of calories etc.). He threw a fit again - crying and screaming and kicking. The most disturbing thing was his comment that I would be making him be hungry later if I made him eat the gogurt now. He then told me that he wouldn't eat as much during the day to make up for the extra gogurt. I insisted on the gogurt -- thinking that he would eventually adjust to having that much and wouldn't restrict his later eating to compensate (I hope!).

He is wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of Old Navy "skinny" jeans to school every day. I bought him a huge package of t-shirts so he wouldn't be stinky/dirty -- but he really could use some color/variety. He said that it is the fit he likes. I'll have to see if I can find some colored undershirt/t-shirts.