Tuesday, July 22, 2008


N had a physical last Thursday in preparation for his scout camp. We had N turn around when the nurse weighed and measured him. I was amazed that he has grown almost 2 inches in the last year (61.5 total inches). Our pediatrician walked right in and stated N's current weight - 105 lbs. Arrggh! N immediately began a long emotional tug of war with the anorexia. I had weighed N, the previous Sunday at 97 lbs. How could he possibly gain 8 pounds in four days? So, I reweighed N -- letting him watch (big mistake!) because I was sure it would show the doctor's scale to be off from ours. 107 lbs. What was I thinking by letting him watch? The next day I weighed him again: 106 lbs.

I'm still confused by such varied weights. He was 100, then 97, 104 and then 107. It's the 97 lbs that seems off. Maybe he was dehydrated that day or something. I'm glad, though, that his weight is up. I'll feel much better about letting him go for 5 days knowing that he is on the higher side. However, knowing his weight, led N to really struggle for many days. Next time, I'll have to remember to warn the doctor not to tell N his weight.

On Saturday, I took him to the store to buy new jeans and it was like a less emotional reprisal of earlier shopping trips. I did get him to bring some Old Navy boot-cut jeans home on a "trial" basis (they are a good compromise and not too tight). He wants his jeans to be skin tight - so that his thighs look thin. He found a pair at Target that were so tight. He said he liked them. Right now, though, there are groups of boys around here who wear super tight jeans. N calls them "emo." He tells me that these kids are very negative and engage in cutting and stuff like that. So, I asked him if he cared about people associating him with that kind of a group. He did care and put the jeans back. I'm so glad! My mind was already spinning with how to talk him out of the jeans. What a hard issue to deal with at the same time as dealing with his anorexia. I never want my kids to make choices because "it's what everyone else is doing." But I don't either want him to be erroneously associated with this group. I also don't want these "emo" kids to seek him out. He's so vulnerable right now. It's the last thing he needs. Sometimes you can send the wrong message about yourself by the way you dress. How do you address those concerns without making him even more self-conscious?

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