Friday, August 22, 2008

Visceral Memory

This morning, N got hung up on choosing his clothes for school. It was like a throw-back to months ago. I had to run his brother to school, but asked T to help him. By the time I got back home, both N and T were gone. I called T on his cell phone and he reassured me that everything had come together rather quickly after I left. N had emerged rather quickly and asked T to drop him off with his friends who would still be walking. I was glad that his goal was to catch up with his friends and not just to get to school on time.

This is progress. However, it took me a while to calm down. Apparently I have a strong visceral memory of the struggles of the past year. My shoulders tensed up almost immediately as I saw N struggling with his clothes (and potentially being late) and J asked me why I was breathing funny (big sighs) while driving him to school. It's been almost 5 hours since N headed off to school, but I can still feel the tension from this morning in my muscles. He's okay, but I'm not sure that I am.

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