Food

N is an hour plus late for school right now. He is paralyzed over choosing a shirt. He is so picky about how they look on him. If the fabric hangs out at all then he freaks out. He'll be fine with wearing some shirts one day and then the next time he hates that shirt. I'm sure it is the anorexia still warping how he looks at himself. He also confessed that he can tell that he is gaining weight and that he feels fat because of all the extra calories. Which, of course, is ironic given that he hasn't even gained a pound since we started refeeding. He has cried now for about 30 minutes. Then he apologized profusely, saying things like, "I suck" or I'm pathetic." I've helped him find positive messages and I've hugged him a lot, but it's not making a difference this morning. He is crying again. I've asked to him to go lay on his bed, do some relaxation and try to calm down (we call it "calm-down time").

I'm struggling to get his calories up. With a lot of effort, I can get his daily total to around 2300. I'm using the tricks that other parents have passed on (adding carnation instant breakfast etc.). Here is a sample menu:

Breakfast
4 large pancakes (made with whole milk) - 350
1 T. syrup -100 (he wouldn't eat this until yesterday)
2 pieces of bacon - 70
1 c. cocoa (with carnation instant breakfast & whole milk) - 430

Snack
PopTart - 200

Lunch
Peanut Butter Roll - 250
Orange - 30
1 c. Juice - 100

Snack
1 mini candy bar /package of starburst – 300

Dinner
2 c. Wild Rice Soup (made with half and half) - 340
1/2 apple - 60
Carrots - 50
1 c. of Juice – 100

Snack
1 cup of Breyers Vanilla ice cream - 300

Total - 2680 Calories

The problem is that he is stuffed (particularly at breakfast and dinner). I would be too! He is eating a ton of food. Yet, 2680 calories is a good day. Most days, I struggle to even get him up to 2300. Some mornings I'll make him a high calorie shake (that replaces the pancakes) or a bowl with two packets of oatmeal and instant breakfast. I'm going to rotate bagels and muffins into the breakfast/lunch mix. I just can't make him eat more of everything. Somehow I need to find better ways to make calorie dense foods.