Saturday, November 10, 2007


This morning was terrible. I made pancakes thinking I could "sneak" some calories/fat into them. N freaked out as soon as I said I had made pancakes. He didn't see me make them and I wouldn't let him see the mix or tell him which recipe I used. Pair this with the fact that he had a scout activity that he didn't want to go to. We were in utter meltdown for 45 minutes. Maybe I shouldn't have forced him to go to the scout activity. But I felt like he needed to get out and do things with other kids. Anyway, I did get him out the door (20 minutes late and with breakfast in hand). I gave instructions to the boys to make sure he finished his breakfast. He'll hate eating in front of them -- but he'll hate them bugging him worse.

N usually does okay as long as his menu is predictable (i.e. he knows the calories). Any choices are hard. Even a choice of toast or cereal sends him into space. For some reason, he is a little more flexible with dinner -- but has started to be less so. We worked out a compromise with Dr. R. to help with the battles at dinner. We work out our month's menu together. I don't mind his choosing some of the main courses -- but I get to put the quantity in front of him. Dr. R. told us that N would become more picky with time, but not to let him do that. [In fact, at this inpatient facility they don't "allow" people to be vegetarians. He said that is a common thing for people with anorexia to decide that they are vegetarian.]

Also, I'm realizing that I've got to up his calories. He's only getting enough right now to barely maintain his weight. He's okay with most of what he eats because he knows that he continues to "maintain." I think bigger battles are coming as I increase the calories and the weight starts to come back on. So, we probably haven't even experienced the worse yet.

N has a chance to take a test today to be placed in an accelerated 7th grade program. He wanted to take the test -- but lately started freaking out about it. I have to admit that I would like him to participate. This is because for so many years I saw him bored in regular classrooms. He was finally challenged when we moved him into an accelerated class (which he is still in). Now, the least little thing makes him completely stressed. We've discontinued every other extracurricular activity including sports and guitar. All he has left is scouts and school. I'm not pushing achievement in either right now. Still, I wonder if he'll get better by next year and then be bored in school again. Is it worth the stress the test would put on him today? Ultimately I guess I'll let him decide.

1 comment:

carrie said...

Hi Wendy. I wanted to say hi and send out my support to you and your family.

I'm 27 and recovering from anorexia after 8 years of struggle. I did family based treatment about a year ago, which resulted in the only complete weight restoration in all of those years (which included numerous hospitalizations and 2 long-term residential treatments). I'm also a friend of Laura Collins, which explains how I found your blog.

You are doing the right thing for your son. I'm not anorexia-free, not by a long shot. You can see that on my blog. But I am maintaining my weight (with a few blips) and am in grad school, away from home. It's the farthest away I've ever been, and I miss the support of home. If, God forbid, I get sick again, I'd go home to my family first thing.

Love and food and time will heal.

Take care.