Wednesday, November 14, 2007


N is still doing well. There have been several "blips" everyday. But they are shorter and less severe. He seems to get control of himself faster now. His Dad had been out of town over the weekend. He said that the difference in N was amazing! N has color in his cheeks and has been more himself over the past few days. He has even been seen smiling.

I attribute the change to both the increased calories and the limited choices. I hadn't realized how paralized he had become about simple choices. He spent almost 30 minutes yesterday at the supermarket trying to choose a candy bar. His calorie intake is still only in the 1900 to 2500 range. I'm trying to go "low and slow" to avoid the refeeding syndrome.

I have some hope for the first time since he got sick.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wendy -
With great empathy I read your blog. We have a 12-year-old ED daughter. We are at month #6, after 2 extended stays at the hospital for food/med refusal, and 1 at the pediatric psy unit for suicide attempts.

We've learned that treatment of a an eating disorder child is terribly complex, long, and exhausting. But successful "treatment" plans are out there.

We've been on the emotional roller coaster ride for months - guilt, resentment, fear, sorrow, grief, saddness, hopelessness, anger and doubt. We felt it all.

Looking back, we had weeks when we doubted we could keep our younger children safe and our family unit intact.

Know you are not alone; your ED child will likely experience hostility, anger, frustration, exhaustion, self-hate, depression, etc. He will improve and he will back-slid. You promise to not blame yourself, but do it over and over in your head.

How else can a mother bear the pain of helplessly watching her child suffer alone?

Hang in there. IT WILL GET BETTER. Your family will be stronger for this. The fact that you posted the blog and exposed your soul only proves the grit you have to make it through this ordeal, and you will.

We are not done. Our daughter is not better (yet). To protect myself from disappointment and try to keep strong, I've already embraced the reality that our daughter will forever teeter on the brink of relapse and our valuable role is to arm her with the tools to cope with this horrific illness for the rest of her tender, precious life.

You are well on your way to being the bedrock that your son needs to lean on.