Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Broken Record

As I reread many of the entries over the past few weeks, they start to read like a broken record. But, that's really how I feel like our lives are right now - a broken record. We live and fight the same battles and issues over and over again, day after day. N has only suffered from anorexia for five, going on six months now. And already the fatigue has set in.

We've had a lot of good days over the past few weeks. I think the bigger picture is that N is progressing slowly. However over the last few days, he has regressed a bit. I feel like we're skirting the edge of the cliff right now. I've given him a few additional choices recently for meals and snacks -- but I think he is exploiting those choices. Each meal or snack comes close to a breakdown. Weight and calories and feeling fat are daily topics all over again. Mostly N doesn't dissolve into those breakdowns, but almost. There have been a few rough moments. He pulls himself out more quickly now -- with some exceptions of course. Usually after a quiet moment of contemplation, he'll start apologizing. And that's a whole different issue that I've already discussed.

Today we've skirted multiple fits that have culminated in a late night and accusations of us "accidentally" increasing his calories each day.

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