I weighed N this morning. He is up 1/2 pound to 85.6.
I recently heard this quote: "We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives." (Elder Dallin Oaks)
Just before I heard this quote, my husband and I had been discussing how we could help N get better. Besides loving him, feeding him, and helping him get the care that he needs, we both felt that we needed to reduce our family activities. We were involved in so much: family, home, church, work, school, orchestra, parent/school organizations, city affairs, community issues, sports, music lessons, research, etc. We were filling our lives with so many "good" things that we didn't have enough time left for some of the "best" things. N's needs were taking a back seat, some days, to the busyness of many of these activities.
So, I have pulled out of or pulled back from most of these activities. We have continued to be involved at church and I still play occasionally in the local orchestra. J is still playing soccer and violin. And of course school and work can't be eliminated. But that's pretty much it. I'm also learning to say, "no." Because of N, I feel a strong compelling reason to say, "no" yet no need to offer an explanation (for N's privacy). I'm getting better at it. We are still pretty busy -- but not nearly so frazzled and frustrated at the end of the day. And we are able to focus more on N. He is overly affected by stress right now. By reducing and focusing on the "best" parts of our lives, we've been able to see a big difference in all of us.